Iron Heart, Castle of Glass

Pain, Hurt. 

These were the things she felt,

As she curled in a ball,

Clutching her chest,

And cried silently as she could.

I felt her.

And never seen her cried so painfully.

Words have cut and stabbed her deeply

Her heart almost give up to beat

And let everything go.

But such action is sinful and disgrace her honor.

She knew, God is testing her

Testing her love,

Her faith,

Her honesty,

Her loyalty,

Her patients,

And herself.

Nonetheless the pain is there

Breaking, cracking her slowly

But she couldn't careless.

Not when her castle start to shake.

She knew it is her priority

Which is blood before society.

So she must ensure,

Our castle stood tall like a mountain.

Yet she's still in dilemma

Between blood and herself.

I pray, for her strength and patient.

For her loyalty and kindness are long lasting.

For her love and faith are everlasting.

And I pray,

She'll be alright.

I'll be alright. InsyaAllah...

A Confession of Me

Assalam,

In my definition of self-limits is what specific things or disease that cause you to have a limit. For example, asthma. The person who bear this disease has a limit in during activities. If he or she over-working, their heart make a whizzing sound, like a cat sleeping, and short of breath. They say it can cause instant death but I'm not sure anymore as I met a person who has conquer his asthma. And I envy him.

I want that. Truely, I hate that I haven't conquer my asthma yet. I want to run, to feel the wind blow and pass my skin, to feel like a panther sprinting and dancing with the nature. But unfortunately, I have my limit, the line that my own heart has draw. I can push myself over the limit and recently I had but like a rubber band, I felt like my limit pull me back before the line. I know I can push even further but I'm... Afraid. Afraid of falling.

See? That's what I felt so confused. I know what I want, I know there's a hope that I could heal my asthma but to archive that I have to push over the boundary and through that process, I'm afraid of falling. Call me a girl with ego but I just don't want that.

Haha. I don't know what I'm talking right now. But I know I'm telling my weakness to the world yet at the same time, I want to share my dream. I want to heal from this asthma and feel the freedom as I ran as far as I want without feeling out of juice. I want that and dear god, Allah SWT know how I want it.

But to think positively, only He, the Mighty knows the benefits of having this asthma. I can't see clearly what are those benefits are but one thing for sure, I know I can't give up. Maybe God want to test me, to see if I give up in reaching my goal. I don't know, it just my theory but I know He doesn't want His human to give up.

So I guess that's it from me. Pardon my wrong words. I'm just a human who confess about her self-limits and dream to heal her asthma so she could run like the wind. I thank you for hearing me out. Assalam.

Truely,
Diana.

The Malfunction

Stuck in a time loop
Or is it her who stop her time?
It's a new place now,
new situations,
Yet she still struggle
To adapt and evolve.

She doesn't want to know.
But she felt it herself,
The mulfunction within her
Adn the society.
Is it she is so naïve,
Or the people are so selfish.

She doesn't want to admit
But the malfunction must be reveal,
To prove that
She is naïve
She is selfish.
And the people are naïve
The poeple are selfish.

Who am I to judge?
I'm just a person that protect her.
But new environment has left me confuse.
New things scare me the most
And my shadow robe is getting weaker.
Yet I will stand my groud
And remain my shadow aura.

If the malfunction remain minor...


LadyShadoWish

Black (Poem?)

Black is a darkness
Black is a silence
Black is a void
And black is a death

But no,
Black is a beauty
Black is a peace
Black is a lullaby
And black is where hopes begin


#HappyNewYear I know, I know, I'm so late to wish that but better late than never, right?

Time is Màna

Assalam,

Hey guys. It has been a while since I last update my own blog. My final and last exam, SPM is already over and we are free from homework and rules! Yeah but now we move on our saperate ways, only keep in touch through Whatsapp, Twitter and Facebook. Nonetheless, I wish all my friends well and happy as I continue living in my own not-so-happy life.

I had nothing to do in my free time except writing and continue to do my old 'homework' which is making a story or a novel or whatever you guys want to call them. I tried to write something before on this blog too but nothing cross my mind to talk or share about.

So today, Alhamdulillah I got a spirit to write and update this blog. I got a few poems or my, ermm, feeling that I guess I kind of write them in riddles. Haha, I don't know. I just wrote what I feel, that's it.

Okay, I'm out of juice. I'll post one of my poems soon. Thanks for your time. Bye and Dosvídaniyà.

LadyShadoWish

Raven (Poem)

Raven the bird,

How many people dislike it?

The blackness,

The virus that it brings.

Always cause sickness,

diseases,

and yes, death.

Now, I know why,

It significant death.

Besides the black of its feathers

And its act as a predator.

The stealthiness as it hunts,

Those night vision eyes will ignite,

And the black beak sharp as a knife.

It lives in the shadow,

Camouflage in the dark.

It hunts its prey,

Like a lightning struck.

It kills its prey

And eat the flesh.

Than maybe one day,

You're next!

Human (poem)

Mountain of heart,
River of blood,
Branches of bone,
And soil of muscle.
Here comes a vessel
Without a soul.

Blood will flow,
Heart will stop.
Light will fade,
Shadow will invade.
Fire will frost,
Ice shall burn.
Power will gain,
But soul shall lost.

So beware, dear brothers and sisters.
Life shall gone,
Death will embrace.

He is Everywhere

Dear Darkness,
Why are you the one who bring comforts,
When you were there to wait,
for my soul to be yours?

Between life and death,
Thou were there watching,
waiting, soothing,
numbing,
loving,
killing.

Oh how much I love your touch,
Embracing me
In those arms of coldness
and blackness of eternity.
But bring so much confusion
and fear inside me.

But O' Lord, I'm in love
With the man that everyone knows and afraid.
The man who is nothing but with cold heart,
The man who is nothing but Death himself.

Dear Darkness, my consort.
Thou are there, in night and day
And you shall have the light of me in one fine day.
But my love, my soul
It is hard for me to say
That my time is not today.

With love,
Your prey.

The Hybrid (Poem)

Maybe I was meant to be alone,
in the coldest place where darkness fold.
Nonetheless, my heart reject the touch of the Dark,
but I was not and never have the shine of the Light

Maybe I was born to be alone,
to stand between the Light and the Dark,
between the Fire and the Ice,
between the Right and the Wrong,
between the Truth and the Lies,
between the Angel and the Demon
within me.

I must admit,
I am neither an Angel nor a Demon,
Neither a Slave or a Master.
But I must choose the gate,
between who I am
and who I am not.

Thou see, it is all about a choice,
but I see none of them at all.
I stay in the middle, among the crowd,
slowly surrender and let me drown.
I cannot feel my heart or my brain,
what do I feel is my empty Soul.

Now alone in the dark,
with silver Moonlight guide my path.
All I see is my Death,
that I refused to take and needed Life.
How can I live in this lonely pain,
when I had nothing to gain.

Dear Goddess of the Sun and the Moon,
Goddess of the Light and the Dark,
Goddess of the Fire and the Ice,
Goddess of the Truth and the Lies.
Guide me, answer me.
How can I live in this Hybrid realm?

The Barriers Within Us (Poem)

Sometimes, I wonder
Does good means good,
and bad means evil?
Does pure means cure,
and blackness means damage?
Does right means truth,
and wrong means lies?

I thought, I pledged to the darkness,
But I have truth and speak with my life
And I thought I brought peace by honesty,
Instead I brought destruction and chaos.

Sometimes, I wonder
Where am I, in between the light and the dark?
Between the good and the evil?
Between the truth and the lies?
Between cure and infected?
Between the angel and the demon.

Now I wonder in myself,
Who brought the peace and joy,
The angel herself or me myself?
And who brought the chaos and anger,
The demon herself or me myself?

The Elements of Shadow (Re-post from Twitter)

Fire burn my heart,
Water drown my soul.
Earth buried my body,
Air blown me away
To the Land of Shadow
and Darkness Lair.


LadyShadoWishes.
 https://twitter.com/DianaShadoWish/status/394443197872500736

Just A Little Quote

Lady ShadoWish

Here by Me

"Once there's blood But no heart. Now I have heart But no blood. But when I found you I found my blood, my life. That's complete my heart."

https://twitter.com/DianaShadoWish

Here I Am!

Assalam,

Hey, guys! It had been a while that I haven't update my blog, eh? Well, you know my reasons are; homework, school, some jack-asses, brothers, sisters, parents, and more. @#&^~_#^E~^- Really, it's jamming my damn mind.
Okay, just to fill my blog, I'm just gonna give a few info about what happen. First, I had to 'On Hold' my third novel Dark Night: The Union. Second, I can't help myself writing my new novel, Save The Last Pain. Third, my friends keep asking me to share my stories in Wattpad but I was afraid that someone might steal my ideas. Forth, everything start to get a little chaos when my mom has some kind of, I think, tumor and she keep firing her anger at us.
*Sigh. I don't know what's going on with us/me but I think Allah SWT is testing me and sadly I'm not doing a good job.
Well, I don't know what else to say so here's my exit. Bye. Dosvidaniya.

LadyShadoWish

Roses Are Red, Minds Are Cruel

Assalam,

hey, guys! I know it's been a while that I haven't update my blog. Yeah, I had been busy in school, home and mostly I had been thinking a lot until I have a headache in the morning. and I know I'm late to tell that it's Ramadhan so we (all Muslim) are pretty busy fasting and shopping for Raya/Syawal. 

Sooo.... did I mention that I was busy thinking? I did! So, yeah I been thinking and creating my third novel of The Dark Night: The Union (and I swear to god, I still haven't finish it and it's so frustrating!). I got problem with it like I lost my damn memory on how the story end so I keep getting stuck on the road. Second, a new story pop in my head and hate it because it distracted me! Honestly, I'm scared that I'm gonna have a brain cancer for thinking too much! Then, I got peer problem or more specific, boys problem.

 Yeah, I started to hate boys. There was this guy (Which I am NOT going to admit that he was my ex) 'confessed' to me that he wants me back. Hah! Bullshit! Count me OUT! Then, that jerk/asshole started to spied or stalking me. Pretty creepy and he didn't want to admit it that he spied on me. Honestly, I WANT TO KICK HIS DAMN ASS! Stupid boy. I don't know what else to do than ignore that moron and asked my boyfriends to kick him off my back. It worked a little.

But seriously, why he is so damn stupid? When a girl said NO mean DOUBLE NO. why can't he grab it and get lost? I'm not good at this so if you guys are reading this, please suggest what should I do (Besides talking to him, I am not going to talk to that bastard). I really appreciate it.

So that's it. I just blast everything from my heart and head and wish me luck on finishing my novel (again). So... Goodbye/Dosvidaniya. 

LadyShadoWish

The Huntress 2 (poem)

That girl you know had long gone.
Shadows have swallow and changed her all.
Every emotional she felt are dead and gone.
Only her loyalty and bravery stand tall.

Claim the lights, claim the shadows.
Claim all that make them swallow.
Claim the days, claim the nights.
Claim everything that make me a knight.

I am not a full bloom huntress.
But I protect my family from all darkness.
My love to my friends like a sisters.
And I shall guard them like their shadows.

So beware, dear people!
I do not bow to other human.
I stand tall and let you cripple.
And I shall do it to all demon.

Feel the wrath of the huntress.
When I brush my dagger across you throat.
Feel the heartless of the huntress.
When I left you bleeding on the red dead road, alone.

The Huntress (Poem)

Night is my rising,
Darkness is my strength
Count one to ten
Thou shall found your death.

To kill, I must in every night.
To keep the balance between wrong and right.
I kill the evil and save the good,
I banish the lies and force the truths,
but when it comes to me, I'll confused.

Life as a huntress is not easy
Live in nights, silents in days
Speed and strength is what I need
To killed, or be killed.

No time to love, no time to care
All I know is I must beware.
But God bond my soul with my mate,
Because when time has come,
I shall found my eternal fate.

When Things Didn't Quite Make Out

Assalam,
hey guys. What's up? I hope and wish you guys are well, of course. So here is a little bit serious topic I would like to talk about which it keeps bother me recently. (A bit religious)
Have you ever plan something and that plan didn't quite make it because of certain reason and you feel very frustrated about that? Well, I'm sure EVERYONE around the world had experienced this situation before. We got 2 different type of reaction when this situation happens. Some people faced it like 'Oh, never mind. I can try another day.', but some people couldn't accept it like 'Why is this happening? I planned this for months!'. So let me get this straight; I hate the people with the second reaction.
Yes, we planned something and really look forward to accomplish it, but when things didn't work well, we shouldn't like blame it on someone, we have to accept it willingly or unwillingly. Sometimes this happen because God is trying to say something to us or He try to save us from something, maybe like an accident. Well, in Islam, which is my religion, taught us to do something with all your heart but when something stop us we have to accept it, because maybe there's a bit benefits from that.
I don't know how to explain this in detail but please don't get mad when this happen to you, it's like you were blaming God for what had happen. No offence guys, I'm just... well, reminding? Telling? I don't know but I hope that when things like this happen, please, just please don't blame it on someone else. Stand in front of a mirror and take a look at yourselves. Are you prefect? Do you always right about something? Does everything that you do is the right thing? Sometimes we had to blame it to ourselves because maybe we did something bad in the past and God wanted to pay back or to teach something.
So as a conclusion, don't blame it on fate or destiny or someone. Maybe there IS some benefits when things didn't work well.
I think I'll stop here, so Goodnight/day to you.

LadyShadoWish

On Hold

Assalam,
hey, guys! What's up? Hope you guys are as health as an ox. So I'm having my examination weeks which it was like hell!!! My fingers hurt badly and I barely feel them. And because of this mid year exam I have on hold everything including my blog and my novels.
Yeah, did I ever mention that I had started writing the third novel of Dark Night? So yeah, I'm still working on it and this exam is getting in my way. I need to finish them like RIGHT NOW but then I had to focus on my exam or I'll fail and my parents gonna punish me. So I'm just going to give you a glimpse of it.

Just as Marie settle down and start to blend with all the Hunter and the Witch at her home town with Alex by her side and her friends, new quest rolling in and she with Alex set off again. But this time it would be very challenging because she going to cross all the supernatural kingdoms' rules; the Vampire Kingdom, Werewolf Kingdom, Witch Kingdom and Hunter Kingdom. Soon she know who was the rightful heir for the throne; The Lost Sisters and she must find them and protect them and even teach them how to kill the Kings and Queens of the Kingdoms. At the same time, she realize she was not who she really think was. She realize more truth about about her dark side and struggle to hold on the light. More truth uncover when she found out that her twin sisters were still alive, and so was her lost brother. With the responsibilities she had for the The Lost Sisters, her brother trying to steal her tittle as the leader of the Silver Bloodline and her dark side start to a rise inside her, will she be able to complete her quest and balance the supernatural world before the war start?

So that a little of sneak peek from my third novels and wish me luck to complete them as soon as possible. That's it for today. Thanks for visiting! Dosvidaniya!
Assalam,

LadyShadoWish

My Dreams

Assalam,

hey, guys! what's up? First of all, I got excited when I saw that some people from RUSSIA visit this blog!!! I am so excited like hell! I know my blog is not cool but I still wanted to have friends from Russia.
Why Russia? I don't know! I always wanted to go there since I was 11!!! It was start when I saw my brothers played Command and Conquer: Red Alert 2. I kept seeing the Soviet flags over and over and my brothers said that once Russia was the strongest country in the world. And from the word Russia, it sound like a bad-ass country. So right that moment I swear I'm going to study there and well, maybe have my own private house over there.
So I'm try to learn Russian language from the internet. It's kind of hard to pronounce the word but hey, practices make prefects, right? But there's a bit tiny little problem. I have asthma. I know Russia is freaking cold but I have to get there. It's my dream. I want to go there. My mom always said that I won't stay there for a long time because of the weather but she's so damn wrong. I'm going there one day and make Russia my second home.
Well, that's it. Thanks again for visiting my blog, people from Russia. You made my day better today. I hope you guys will follow me in twitter https://twitter.com/DianaShadoWish . Dosvidaniya! Yiak Lublub tibiya, Russia!