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Friday 29 June 2012

Heartache

Assalam,
heartache? Well, that something... erm, hard? I don't know. It is hard but sometimes this pain is easy. Of course, easy to get. Some people got it easy and hard to accept it. Some, like me, easy to get it and accept it with an open arms.. weird but it true.. Through, heartache is not just a pain, it a secrets. The secrets that you keep inside yourself, don't want anyone to know your weakness, don't want anyone to know that you're unhappy, and don't want to let any of your friend feel guilty for you.
I admit it, I keep a lot of secrets. Some I store it in my head but some, I didn't know I store it in my heart. Pain but I need it. It like drug to me now.. A drug that only I know what it feels like.. I love to share it but I don't think people can handle it or even understand the drug completely. So better keep it in myself because it useless when I tell somebody. I don't want people to feel sorry for me! I just want them to understand.
Now, I guess it too late to tell about my secrets, fears or anything that had been store in my heart. I think it been lockdown and will open it when the day come. Secret is now like a school bag hanging in my heart. Getting heavier until one day it drop and I'll become insane. For all my life, all I want to do is being HONEST.

Diana Amalina Jamaluddin

Sunday 10 June 2012

Show Me The Way

Assalam,
hey, everyone! I didn't update last week because I was on vacation and I was out ideas. I don't know what to write anymore except telling you guys that I'm on my way to write my third little fantasy novel. About what? You guys will know it when I'm done writing.
Ladno' (meaning is okay in Russia), back to the title of today. Honestly, I feel kindda confused and lost with... I don't know, something. This something is really making me numb. I can't think properly. I try to search of this cause of 'something' but I couldn't found anything. So the conclusion is that I feel lost in my own mind, heart and soul. I can't feel my body anymore! It scare me!!
Okay, I think I just freak out so I need my sleep. Tomorrow school start, again and can't wait to hear my teacher shouting. LOL. Whatever.. Dosvidaniya'! (meaning Goodbye in Russian. I Getting more addicted with Russian language.)

Blue Dragon Warrior/  Marie Marcus/ Lady ShadoWish