New year

Assalam,
OMG! It 2012 already! well, I know we 'just' step into 2012 in about 10 minutes ago, but I'm excited, and a bit freak and scare! Why it always have to be scare? Of course, I have to be scare when this year, I'm going to catch my PMR test, which it not easy this year and, damn it! I'm scare!!
It not just the test. It also a part of me, like "Boy, I'm gettin older". Turning 15 is kindda freak me out and I don't know what my future will look like. My heart are racing, because, I'm scare to make my own desition like, well, something, Last yesturday, I mean, last year didn't work or end so well. I'm not expecting some stupid happy ending like a fairy tale but.. I, just want some 'smooth' ending, or rather, normal ending.
But I didn't regreat at all. Our God, Allah SWT have save me from something that I am shame to tell but I regreat that I never 'pay' back by prayer. I , it useless saying at here. Well, I think This is the last time I write in this blog, my exam in here and gotto focus, dude. Hahaha.. Wish, me luck! n happy new year!

Assalam,
Blue-Dragon/Lady ShadoWish

Struggle

Assalam,
hey, you guys. I had to say this that I have been sooo much struggle lately. I'm freak out! Hah! On my growing up things, boys, school's test and making decisions. I hate the last one. It really bug me. No, it really scare the hell out of me! I hate it. I'm scare to make my own decisions. I'm scare that I will make the same stupid and wrong decision which it really weak me.
And I hate being weak!!! When I weak, I'll struggle again and again and make another mistake. I want to cry, actually but I, erm, scare too cry too because it weak me too. I need to be brave in everything (especially boys, bah!), like Meredith Sulez and Elena Gilbert (Vampire Diaries novels), Rose Hathaway (Vampire Academy novels), Dru Anderson (Strange Angles novels, even I haven't read or buy the books but I bet it awsome), and Marie Marcus, Selyen Sylvester and Nicole Benson ( in my novel that I create, called Dark Night. I know, you can laugh out loud)
Those girls that actually not real person have their own charecter that I wish I have the same character like them. I know it just some story books but when I read them it feels alive! I feels I want to be like them, strong, smart, beautiful, and mostly brave. Hahaha! I'm being nonsense but I'm talking the truth.Hahaha!
Okay, okay. I need to stop my stupidness.. Good night.

Lady ShadoWish

Hope

Assalam,
well, hope. I always said that there's always hope in our life that I keep on hoping and turn out my hope vanish. The moral value that I got from that, I can't keep on hoping on something. So it pain sometimes when we hope on something and in the end, we didn't get a thing. A note for someone: Please, let me go! And stop hoping now...
Urgh! I need to screem! They always be stupid, dumb, deaf and blind! Whats the meaning of "I don't Love you" that they don't understand?!

Lady ShadoWish

Going to be Evil

Assalam,
hey, I'm getting very, very annoying with myself. Wanna know why? I'm a b----! I'm being too much selfish. I can't handle it! I had to be like this and you know what? Even I getting annoying but I like it being like this. Why? Because I'm safe from the pain I don't want to feel again. Haa.. I'm a freak..
And that's the problem. I'm a freak and no one seems to understand me very well, expecally BOYS! Why todays boys are so numb?! When I say 'No', it means No. When I say 'I don't love you anymore', translation: 'I hate you'. So why they didn't suck it up and forget it? I know they were hoping 'Yes' but what the meaning of 'I can't'? It mean, I can't! It's all so simple and they still numb. I hate it!
I need to cool down. I been typing this laptop with a very forceful finger. I think it might broke down if I keep typing forcefully. Well, I gotto go somewhere. Bye..

P.S' I want so badly to share this on Facebook, but seems like my old humandity is still there and don't want the boys to aim me as an enemy. Well, I don't mind becoming enemy to them.

Lady shadoWish/ Shadow Serpent

Better One

Assalam,
hey, I messed up. I messed a lot of people happeness. Someone said I'm a Spoiler. I always spoil people's happeness.
Anyway, forget that. I hate to know it but I like it anyway, and I don't even know why. Right now, my eyes is killing me! I don't know what wrong and my heart is a bit free but something lock in me. It like, the lock is making my heart heavy and everything kindda weird. Yeah. I felt very weird. Lonely. Hah! I can handle being lonely and also being weird but my mind is everywhere and I can't read or know my feeling right now. Hmm.. I'm sure it past, Allah will make it past. I'm positive. Well, my mood is gone now. I wish I want to write again but, urgh, hate this feeling.
Bye now.

Lady ShadoWish/Shadow Serpent

Me? A Heart-Breaker? Hell, yeah!

Assalam,
guys, I can't belived I'm a heart breaker! Well, it was my dad who told me but I know it first when the time I became single. And great, evrything complete in me. I'm a spoiler, I'm an Idiot, I'm a Heart-Breaker, I'm an Annoying and I'm a Freak. Hahaha.. I hope the next one would be Strong, through, I am strong but I need to be more strong than ever, maybe like Rose Hathaway? Elena Gilbert? Meredith Sulez? Who else the strong woman that I inspired in my fantacy life? Marie Marcus? Selyen Sylvester? Nicole Benson? Hahaha.. Those 3 name is my creation in my novel. What? I love writeing until I accidently make a novel, I mean, 1 half and quarter novel ( still working on my second one) I know it funny but at least I had my own creation that I can exzample with myself. Hahaha.. I dream or got a lot imagenation so I take my own dream and write it on a book until it became a novel. I don't know if it a good story but at least I got 1 who support my novel. Hahaha... Well, I got to go now. Bye.

Lady ShadoWish/Blue-Dragon/Shadow Serpent

Holidays or un-holidays?

Assalam,
hey, guys! I need to say this: I can't feel that it holidays!! and it kills me.. It so freaking damn boring!! I keep on playing Warcraft 3 again and again and it annoying me. Bah!! And since I'm single, the boys start to line up and ask the same almost-stupid-question on me, and that kills me the most. Oh, what have I done until I'm stuck in the middle and you know what, I'm always stuck in the middle, it makes me suffer. Urgh! Now, I think this is called life.
 Hey to all boys! I'm not beautiful! I'm not pretty! There are a lot of pretty girls in that school or in other school! I'm a FREAK which I LOVE it. So P.L.M.A ( Please Leave Me Alone) I would be grateful and yeah, I will love you like a FRIEND. Aaarh.. I need a doctor. Bye, now.

Lady ShadoWish

Selfish

Assalam,
hey, guys. I know the title is a bit weird but i have to say this from my heart.

People say selfish is wrong thing,
As it break someone's heart.
I say selfish is good thing
As it save your own heart.

I hope you'll guys understand this poem. From now on, I will be, well, almost selfish than you ever think. I had no choice. I was being too much kind and sometimes I hate it, sometimes I don't because it show me who I really are. But I need to be selfish, just to save my own heart. It not that I can't handle the pain in my heart if someone break it ( I actually laugh when it break ) but I had too, for myself and I don't want to do the same mistake I had done
I even know that people make mistake and they try again to fix it and it became more worse. But some people, make mistake and never look back or even fix the mistake that they done.
Anyway, I do this in some reason. I wish could say it or type ti but, I think it will be better if i keep it a secret. Well, I think thats it.

Lady of ShadoWish

Story

Assalam,
Hey,you guys.. As what you guys heard from all the rumors that i'm now single, meaning no more relationship with someone. Why? Well, that the hard one to explain actually. I broke up because my mother and also myself.
My mother noticed that I was getting lazy and dreaming all days and months. I also want to take a very good care about my family's honor. For myself, i was getting lost on my path, my own path. I know it weird but it true. I had to admit that I becoming wild and lost my-old-self since I couple. I don't blame my ex, it wasn't his fault. It was mine and why it was my fault? I can't tell it.
So I hope this short explaination will statified you guys. Further information, meet me tomorrow at girl's astaka. Insyaallah, I will be there. Thx..

Blue-Dragon/Lady of ShadoWish

Keep on moving...

Assalam,

I just can't belived that I done it.. but I'm sure the memory will pop back in my head and if that happen, I will watch it but still movin and marchin forward with my two leg towards what I really miss : My-really-old-self (as I called it)
Hm! Hating me is the most good thing in my life, actually. Even I hate myself.. I hate my choice that I got, I hate when every thing didn't go well, and the most hateful in myself is that I hate that, I let MYSELF be stupid until that stupid lead me to my dark memory-past..
I wish you understand but I'm a freak. No one, except my beloved mother and father who knows me, too well.

P.S, Taylor Swift Fifteen, here that song. One sentence that caught my ears and eyes is "...don't forget to look before you fall..."

Blue~Dragon/Lady of ShadoWish

Turning Point

Assalam,
I, erm, don't know how to say this but... yesturday was my turning point of every mess that I done. I know you'll guys wonder what the meaning of this but you'll guys know soon. I can't talk or write at here or at my own house so just wait.
Well, that's it.. See yaa..

Blue~Dragon/Lady of ShadowWish...

Apologize

Assalam,
hey, sorry i have't write in a while. Well, wanna watch up? Some are happy and sweets memorys but most? it sad and some feeling I don't know. But anyway I'm here and dissapointed because i have't buy a new Vampire Diaries series! It killing me up. I'm in PJ right now and i thought i would buy it here since in JB it already finish ( I think ) and my parents been delay to buy it and when i came here, they said "It have't arrive yet" !!
Trust me, you don't know how... well, dissapointed i am right now. but I don't want to went back home with empty hand so i bought a book, also from L.J.Smith, The Secret Circle: Part 1. So far so good with it. It doesn't involed vampires or werewolves, it all about witch and also love. Mm-hmm..
Well, i'm tired now. i hope this is enough (even there is no one reading this except the one who approve my blog) So bubye now.

Assalam,
Blue~Dragon

Miss one more...

First time walking with my friends in Raya

Assalam,
ok, from what you guys read at the title must be funny, is't it? Well, at least i felt very very very grateful because my parents give me at last.. hahaha
Well, i don't know what to tell you guys now but got something tu show. Here it is..

Hehehe.. That's all, i think. bye now.

Assalam,
Blue~Dragon

Love trangle

Assalam,
well, we alway heard a love trangle, right? In every movie and more, like Elena, Stefan and Damon, Bella, Edward and Jacob. Even in friendship can became love trangle too, like Rose, Dimitri and Lissa. But here is the new one. Love trangle between your couple and your parents ( in muslim only) There a story. A girl who loyalty with her parants and to her lover. but something, complicated happan between her and her parents ( not an accident ok??). Her parents told her to leave her lover and be a success girl but she just let the advise past through her.
But she felt guilty, of cos. She know that if she break up now the boy will, well sad and more. Now, she trap in a middle of her parents and her lover. She love the boy so much and almost same level with her parents. She even make a poem but i don't remember the poem was but i remember she said like 'now, give me ur curse, so i trap in ur love' ( something like that, i think )
So now she trap in the cursed, of cos. She seems dump and idiot than ever. So the moral at the last part is: don't play with curse.
Hahaha... That's it i think. Tomorrow will be school again, urgh, i have't done my homework yet. Hah!Good nite!

Assalam,
Blue~Dragon

Wars of Firework

Assalam,
hey, i just got back from my grandfather's home in JB. My brothers and me play the fireworks happyly and so was my father. The thunderclap was beautiful but it only explode once so that's the boring part and theres two merdeka firework and that was magnificent too. I don't know where did my father brought that stuff but i'm happy, a bit, well, enjoy, a bit.
Well, just something wrong with my heart and... i don't know. Must be about last night, after i write at this blog, i drank a coffee that my mother brought and all of suddent i can't sleep at all! Hah! funny it seems..
Well, i think thats it. bye

Assalam,

Blue~Dragon

It holidays

Assalam,
well, as you guys know right now is holidays for raya so i'm sure you guys been busy buying new dress, pants, baking some 'kuih raya' and so on. I thought it gonna be fun this week but i found out today that the boring part just start along with the words happy. Urgh! It bugg me..!
I been doing the same thing again and again. Oh! Thanks to my friend, Divina, she let me borrowed her novel book, Vampires Academy. Through, i thought it was boring at first but the girl in the book have a bit same attitude like me so i'm going to read it until it finish and when i want more, I'm going to ask my mother out to Harris book store to buy the continue of the book. Hahaha.. I'm a book worm! Unbeliveable! Well, at least i fill my time with something like, imagenation? dream? It also make know more HOW to handle my emotional like anger, sad, dissapoint, and...love.
Okay, i just said that and it making me... more weird of myself? well, truely I don't see myself clearly but I like the way I handle my own situation and emotion by myself. Even my freinds don't even understand my attitude, feelings, and how i think about other things. The easy words is I am oppasite from everyone, which sometimes it killing me. Wanna know why? Because none of them understand my face or my feeling(except my parents, they know me well) but IF one of them understand me, he or she may just try to make me confortable or whatever, or just ignore me like they alway do.
Well, I don't want to tell more about my weird mind, life or attitude ( I like keeping things mysteries ). So good night.

p.s - the bad and the worst feeling that I always hate is missing something or someone. Grab that everyone!

Assalam,
Blue~Dragon

Me in KL

Assalam,
Hey, you guys! Right now,I'm in Kl with my parents only. Hahaha.. I used my mother's phone to open this blog. Still I feel greatful.. Hahaha.. So I don't know what to share now but one thing I want to share. Well, maybe later caz it hard to explaine and I think I don't want to say it right now, bot now. Sorry..
Well, I think that it. Wish me luck on searching my new book, The Vampire Diaries:The Hunter
Bye now
Blue-dragon

~Wish me luck!~

Assalam,
next week is gonna be exam and i errr.. almost ready for it. So wish me luck, ok?? so it still Ramdhan n anothe 2 weeks, i presume, is Aidilfitri but i have to hold my horse, right now. I got the feeling that this is going to be the best raya but.. hah! I don't know. well, i got nothing to say now except again, wish me luck..

Assalam,
Blue~Dragon

SeLamAt BerPuAsE SeMUa..!!

Assalam,
tomorrow would be The Month of Ramdhan. so don't cheat, ok??!! n Happy Puasa..! hahha

Blue-Dragon

Ramadhan is coming..!

Assalam,
well, ramadhan is coming, people..!! so better save or plus your energy with heavy food before the ramadhan strat.. hahaha.. well, all i can say is 'Selamat Berpuasa' to all muslim n no cheating in this month.. ok?? ^_^ bye..

Blue~Dragon

Forgive me,

Assalam,
emm.. to that person, please forgive me

It sunny today
I hope it raining always.
Love me everyday
and I love you always.

Blue~Dragon

Happy Time With Family

Assalammualaikum,
finally, my wish had came true that is watching movie Transformers The Dark of The Moon with my family. hahhaa.. the most funnest thing was before we get into the cinema, my family andd I went for KAROKE..!! hahaha.. in the middle of afternoon..!! seriously..!! but it fun..!! so my next movie is-emm... i don't know. I got a lot in my mind such as Captain Amerika, Twilight Breaking Dawn Part 1, Harry Potter, and more..!! hmmm.. well, just wish i could watch all of them.. hehhee.. got to go now.Bye2

Blue~Dragon

Poem

I wanna share something with you guys but hopefully you guys not laugh.. ok..

From you to me, I wonder.
From me to you, I wonder.
If I keep on wonder,
You will suffer forever.

A talisman make a lapiz lazuli,
For vampire to survive.
A man girf his love for eternity,
Soon, you'll be mine.

At last, the winter came.
Knowing that you will be worry.
At last, you know i'm in pain,
Knowing that you will never be sorry.

Angles and Demons are everywhere,
so must curse and spell.
If you not beware,
Soon, you will be compell.

-That's it. Actually there's more but i don't want to share it with you.. hahaha.. bye2
Assalammualaikum,
Blue~Dragon

big brick boring me...

Assalam,
i'm back again at last because my going-to-be-stupid-laptop are finally work ALMOST properly. So i been very very very very boring today. I can tell you about yesturday but it all past and i'm afraid to tell it before someONE reads it so lets just keep it secret. ok??but today I also got no ideas what to write in here coz nothing specials happen today.
Well, I think that's it. I'll write again when i have news, question, or whatwever it is on the next weeks (I can't online while schooldays.). see yaaa..

pss. I have to admit that this week are strange. because em-well, you wanna know why, then get your butt besides me then I tell you (GIRLS only)

Assalam,
Blue~Dragon

Answers this, please..

Assalam,
hey, again. First, happy bifday to my sister, Laila Qistina. May Allah bless you.
So-emm, i need to ask. what else should i say in this blog besides story about myself n family?? advise(a bit good at it, i think)?? my relationship?? my problem?? my dreams?? my worse day?? good day??
caz i need help in fulling this page/blog. I like fulling things up.. so if you guys can, please comment. if you guys got no ideas, well let's remains shup up.. hahaha
ok??

Assalam,
Blue-Dragon

hmm..??

Assalam,
hmm... what should i say today? well, i don't have an idea right today so after i got an idea what to right at here, i will write again. ok?? bye.. love yaa..!

Assalam,
Blue-Dragon

Went out with my Family

Assalam,
today i went out with my family and that's why i have't online my facebook. The journey was from here (home) to Desaru and it was pleasent. It all so green and blue. So beautiful..!! Allah is The Great..!! All the trees and sea are magnificent..!! I know i sound crazy but it true.
while on the journey, I was traped in a couple who have a problem with one another and they both ask my options. Weird, is't it? A crazy girl like me can give some advise to someone. Hah! well, what happen in the end is, well, only Allah S.W.T knows. So just wish that they, errr, ok?? I don't know.
Well, that's it. Maybe one day I'll give some advise about Love? Friendship?Madness?Confuse? Hah! who knows what my weird brain will do. Of Cos, only Allah knows my souls?spirit?terms in mylife? well, I only knows a few which I can't tell you guys because if someone know my terms, i think thay gonna be crazy caz i talk like stupid girl who don't know what she is saying! hah! I hate myself.. ok, I better stop talking before my brain getting more crazy or something. Bye!

Assalam,
Blue~Dragon.

Let's Begin

fuhh... at last i got my own blg now..!!
thx again to him, Naz Lee.
but i gotta off caz my mom n dad had already angry at me cause i have't finish my homework so goodbye now.

Assalammualaikum,
Blue~Dragon

At last

Finaly..!! I got my own Blog now..
Thx too Naz Lee who help me.. you are the expert..
Thx a lot..