Assalam,
OMG! It 2012 already! well, I know we 'just' step into 2012 in about 10 minutes ago, but I'm excited, and a bit freak and scare! Why it always have to be scare? Of course, I have to be scare when this year, I'm going to catch my PMR test, which it not easy this year and, damn it! I'm scare!!
It not just the test. It also a part of me, like "Boy, I'm gettin older". Turning 15 is kindda freak me out and I don't know what my future will look like. My heart are racing, because, I'm scare to make my own desition like, well, something, Last yesturday, I mean, last year didn't work or end so well. I'm not expecting some stupid happy ending like a fairy tale but.. I, just want some 'smooth' ending, or rather, normal ending.
But I didn't regreat at all. Our God, Allah SWT have save me from something that I am shame to tell but I regreat that I never 'pay' back by prayer. I , it useless saying at here. Well, I think This is the last time I write in this blog, my exam in here and gotto focus, dude. Hahaha.. Wish, me luck! n happy new year!
Assalam,
Blue-Dragon/Lady ShadoWish
Saturday 31 December 2011
Friday 23 December 2011
Struggle
Assalam,
hey, you guys. I had to say this that I have been sooo much struggle lately. I'm freak out! Hah! On my growing up things, boys, school's test and making decisions. I hate the last one. It really bug me. No, it really scare the hell out of me! I hate it. I'm scare to make my own decisions. I'm scare that I will make the same stupid and wrong decision which it really weak me.
And I hate being weak!!! When I weak, I'll struggle again and again and make another mistake. I want to cry, actually but I, erm, scare too cry too because it weak me too. I need to be brave in everything (especially boys, bah!), like Meredith Sulez and Elena Gilbert (Vampire Diaries novels), Rose Hathaway (Vampire Academy novels), Dru Anderson (Strange Angles novels, even I haven't read or buy the books but I bet it awsome), and Marie Marcus, Selyen Sylvester and Nicole Benson ( in my novel that I create, called Dark Night. I know, you can laugh out loud)
Those girls that actually not real person have their own charecter that I wish I have the same character like them. I know it just some story books but when I read them it feels alive! I feels I want to be like them, strong, smart, beautiful, and mostly brave. Hahaha! I'm being nonsense but I'm talking the truth.Hahaha!
Okay, okay. I need to stop my stupidness.. Good night.
Lady ShadoWish
hey, you guys. I had to say this that I have been sooo much struggle lately. I'm freak out! Hah! On my growing up things, boys, school's test and making decisions. I hate the last one. It really bug me. No, it really scare the hell out of me! I hate it. I'm scare to make my own decisions. I'm scare that I will make the same stupid and wrong decision which it really weak me.
And I hate being weak!!! When I weak, I'll struggle again and again and make another mistake. I want to cry, actually but I, erm, scare too cry too because it weak me too. I need to be brave in everything (especially boys, bah!), like Meredith Sulez and Elena Gilbert (Vampire Diaries novels), Rose Hathaway (Vampire Academy novels), Dru Anderson (Strange Angles novels, even I haven't read or buy the books but I bet it awsome), and Marie Marcus, Selyen Sylvester and Nicole Benson ( in my novel that I create, called Dark Night. I know, you can laugh out loud)
Those girls that actually not real person have their own charecter that I wish I have the same character like them. I know it just some story books but when I read them it feels alive! I feels I want to be like them, strong, smart, beautiful, and mostly brave. Hahaha! I'm being nonsense but I'm talking the truth.Hahaha!
Okay, okay. I need to stop my stupidness.. Good night.
Lady ShadoWish
Wednesday 14 December 2011
Hope
Assalam,
well, hope. I always said that there's always hope in our life that I keep on hoping and turn out my hope vanish. The moral value that I got from that, I can't keep on hoping on something. So it pain sometimes when we hope on something and in the end, we didn't get a thing. A note for someone: Please, let me go! And stop hoping now...
Urgh! I need to screem! They always be stupid, dumb, deaf and blind! Whats the meaning of "I don't Love you" that they don't understand?!
Lady ShadoWish
well, hope. I always said that there's always hope in our life that I keep on hoping and turn out my hope vanish. The moral value that I got from that, I can't keep on hoping on something. So it pain sometimes when we hope on something and in the end, we didn't get a thing. A note for someone: Please, let me go! And stop hoping now...
Urgh! I need to screem! They always be stupid, dumb, deaf and blind! Whats the meaning of "I don't Love you" that they don't understand?!
Lady ShadoWish
Friday 2 December 2011
Going to be Evil
Assalam,
hey, I'm getting very, very annoying with myself. Wanna know why? I'm a b----! I'm being too much selfish. I can't handle it! I had to be like this and you know what? Even I getting annoying but I like it being like this. Why? Because I'm safe from the pain I don't want to feel again. Haa.. I'm a freak..
And that's the problem. I'm a freak and no one seems to understand me very well, expecally BOYS! Why todays boys are so numb?! When I say 'No', it means No. When I say 'I don't love you anymore', translation: 'I hate you'. So why they didn't suck it up and forget it? I know they were hoping 'Yes' but what the meaning of 'I can't'? It mean, I can't! It's all so simple and they still numb. I hate it!
I need to cool down. I been typing this laptop with a very forceful finger. I think it might broke down if I keep typing forcefully. Well, I gotto go somewhere. Bye..
P.S' I want so badly to share this on Facebook, but seems like my old humandity is still there and don't want the boys to aim me as an enemy. Well, I don't mind becoming enemy to them.
Lady shadoWish/ Shadow Serpent
hey, I'm getting very, very annoying with myself. Wanna know why? I'm a b----! I'm being too much selfish. I can't handle it! I had to be like this and you know what? Even I getting annoying but I like it being like this. Why? Because I'm safe from the pain I don't want to feel again. Haa.. I'm a freak..
And that's the problem. I'm a freak and no one seems to understand me very well, expecally BOYS! Why todays boys are so numb?! When I say 'No', it means No. When I say 'I don't love you anymore', translation: 'I hate you'. So why they didn't suck it up and forget it? I know they were hoping 'Yes' but what the meaning of 'I can't'? It mean, I can't! It's all so simple and they still numb. I hate it!
I need to cool down. I been typing this laptop with a very forceful finger. I think it might broke down if I keep typing forcefully. Well, I gotto go somewhere. Bye..
P.S' I want so badly to share this on Facebook, but seems like my old humandity is still there and don't want the boys to aim me as an enemy. Well, I don't mind becoming enemy to them.
Lady shadoWish/ Shadow Serpent
Thursday 1 December 2011
Better One
Assalam,
hey, I messed up. I messed a lot of people happeness. Someone said I'm a Spoiler. I always spoil people's happeness.
Anyway, forget that. I hate to know it but I like it anyway, and I don't even know why. Right now, my eyes is killing me! I don't know what wrong and my heart is a bit free but something lock in me. It like, the lock is making my heart heavy and everything kindda weird. Yeah. I felt very weird. Lonely. Hah! I can handle being lonely and also being weird but my mind is everywhere and I can't read or know my feeling right now. Hmm.. I'm sure it past, Allah will make it past. I'm positive. Well, my mood is gone now. I wish I want to write again but, urgh, hate this feeling.
Bye now.
Lady ShadoWish/Shadow Serpent
hey, I messed up. I messed a lot of people happeness. Someone said I'm a Spoiler. I always spoil people's happeness.
Anyway, forget that. I hate to know it but I like it anyway, and I don't even know why. Right now, my eyes is killing me! I don't know what wrong and my heart is a bit free but something lock in me. It like, the lock is making my heart heavy and everything kindda weird. Yeah. I felt very weird. Lonely. Hah! I can handle being lonely and also being weird but my mind is everywhere and I can't read or know my feeling right now. Hmm.. I'm sure it past, Allah will make it past. I'm positive. Well, my mood is gone now. I wish I want to write again but, urgh, hate this feeling.
Bye now.
Lady ShadoWish/Shadow Serpent
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