Assalam,
hey, again. I'm back with the worst emotional in the world (no, in my life) : Numb, blank, blur or anything that has the same meaning with numb. Why? well, my biggest exam in this year is only in two day!!! I felt like I was waiting for my trial in this small cage! Sometimes I feel I wanna get over it quickly but I just afraid that my marks gonna be bad.
Okay, I don't know what i'm talking or writing about right now. All I wanna say is how numb I felt this days. I eat like a zombie! Walk like a robot! And talk like I have no brain! It frustrating, you know. I feel I wanna run away but I don't like being a coward. I still have problem with Mr. Math. I can even think properly right now and more frustrating is I kept think the negative things. Sometimes, I feel I wanna climb a tree then hang upside down. Or do crazy thing with my brothers and sister, like dancing 'Oppa Gangnam Style'! But I'm a big girl now (that's what my father said). You gotta think straight, girl! Humph!
I'm losing my mind now. I need a break or something. Thanks for reading my stupid blank post. Dosvidaniya'
Lady ShadoWish
P.S To all PMR candidates, I wish good luck to all of you. May we gain the most impressive result in this year! Good Luck!
Sunday, 7 October 2012
Saturday, 22 September 2012
Apologize
Assalam,
hey! I'm back, with, pain and sorrow in my heart. Why? Well, Remember my last update (BrokenHearted)? Well, the boy read it. Let me get this straight, man. It is not your fault that I start to un-focus, it not your fault that my father won't let me chat with you, it is so damn not your fault! If you keep on blaming yourselves, well, it useless. Because I'm a girl, that been trained not to cause damage on someone dreams and I don't want to be the girl that cause someone's dreams disappear! I just want to make people, around me, happy. What I'm trying to say is, just, don't worry about me or don't blame yourselves on what had happen to me.
Hey, remember when Amin Idris said 'we need stress to success'? You just need to change the word 'stress' into 'pain' and 'success' into 'keep on living'. To all that reading this, don't get me wrong okay? I'm not making a suicide if I had no pain. At least when I'm happy with all my friends happy, I'll just write a poem. I wish could write a happy poem right now but all I see is sorrow so I guess next time then.
I guess that's it. Bye now.
Through darkness of night, I feel no fears.
Through darkness of night, I feel the tears.
Please!
Let the rain pour, to wash my face.
Let the rain pour, to erase my pain.
LadyShadoWish
hey! I'm back, with, pain and sorrow in my heart. Why? Well, Remember my last update (BrokenHearted)? Well, the boy read it. Let me get this straight, man. It is not your fault that I start to un-focus, it not your fault that my father won't let me chat with you, it is so damn not your fault! If you keep on blaming yourselves, well, it useless. Because I'm a girl, that been trained not to cause damage on someone dreams and I don't want to be the girl that cause someone's dreams disappear! I just want to make people, around me, happy. What I'm trying to say is, just, don't worry about me or don't blame yourselves on what had happen to me.
Hey, remember when Amin Idris said 'we need stress to success'? You just need to change the word 'stress' into 'pain' and 'success' into 'keep on living'. To all that reading this, don't get me wrong okay? I'm not making a suicide if I had no pain. At least when I'm happy with all my friends happy, I'll just write a poem. I wish could write a happy poem right now but all I see is sorrow so I guess next time then.
I guess that's it. Bye now.
Through darkness of night, I feel no fears.
Through darkness of night, I feel the tears.
Please!
Let the rain pour, to wash my face.
Let the rain pour, to erase my pain.
LadyShadoWish
Sunday, 16 September 2012
BrokenHearted
Assalam,
Hey, guys. Sorry I didn't write anything last month. I was very busy with studying (I think). So back to the title : Brokenhearted. Yeah, I took the word from Karmin because I am brokenhearted right now. First, after trial exam we have an Open Day for teacher to talk with our parents. I, erm, was so close with this boy because I guess we understand each other more like a friend. Then, once, our teacher reminded us not to be very close so we do as she said. On the Open Day, I thought she would not say about our issue because it past already! But she told them, my mom and his parents. I felt like I been betrayed by my own mentor. I know she want to prevent us from bad things but why must she bring along my parents? I felt more a shame with the boy! Feels like there is a scar on half of my face. I could still feel the pain! It so Pain!
Thank god that my father trust on me. He told me not to do that again but the saddest thing is, I can't talk to the boy, like almost forever. Doooom! I hate to say this but I am bound with him. I hate it because it make me weak! So weak until I didn't know myself. But I guess I already liked him, Okay, maybe loved him but no more than couple things. Now, my father forbidden me from talk to him, Skype him or even sent a massage. I kindda frustrated but it the best way to reach my dream. If I want to be pilot and give my father a boat and my mother a red sport car I must not let anything stop my way, including my feeling.
I wish to told him like this but he was kind of believe that we can be together (awkward!) even he knew that, erm (I hate this word) marriage is on Allah's will.
Okay! That's it. I'm not gonna let this feeling bubble up in my chest! So dosvidaniya'.
Lady ShadoWish
Hey, guys. Sorry I didn't write anything last month. I was very busy with studying (I think). So back to the title : Brokenhearted. Yeah, I took the word from Karmin because I am brokenhearted right now. First, after trial exam we have an Open Day for teacher to talk with our parents. I, erm, was so close with this boy because I guess we understand each other more like a friend. Then, once, our teacher reminded us not to be very close so we do as she said. On the Open Day, I thought she would not say about our issue because it past already! But she told them, my mom and his parents. I felt like I been betrayed by my own mentor. I know she want to prevent us from bad things but why must she bring along my parents? I felt more a shame with the boy! Feels like there is a scar on half of my face. I could still feel the pain! It so Pain!
Thank god that my father trust on me. He told me not to do that again but the saddest thing is, I can't talk to the boy, like almost forever. Doooom! I hate to say this but I am bound with him. I hate it because it make me weak! So weak until I didn't know myself. But I guess I already liked him, Okay, maybe loved him but no more than couple things. Now, my father forbidden me from talk to him, Skype him or even sent a massage. I kindda frustrated but it the best way to reach my dream. If I want to be pilot and give my father a boat and my mother a red sport car I must not let anything stop my way, including my feeling.
I wish to told him like this but he was kind of believe that we can be together (awkward!) even he knew that, erm (I hate this word) marriage is on Allah's will.
Okay! That's it. I'm not gonna let this feeling bubble up in my chest! So dosvidaniya'.
Lady ShadoWish
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