Sunday, 20 January 2013
Wednesday, 19 December 2012
Half Good News, Half Bad News
Assalam,
hey, you guys! I'm back. So what happen today? I got my PMR result and damn it, I got 6A 2B! My parents have successfully convince me that it was a great result for me, they kept saying I had done my best. Well, I know my parent's mind, especially my dad. I know he was a bit disappointing but he was good on hiding his true feeling. My mom, well, let just say she really disappointed but she does not show it, of course. Then, my grandfather brought me a jacket, which I love it so much. But the most good news are my best friend have straight A's!!!! I am so proud of her (Vignesh) and him (Aiman). They are the best and I can't stop smiling for them!
But then, my smiling shatter when I start thinking again. I had lost with my greatest enemy, erm, my niece. Well, it's her that I'm worried about. It's her father! That man is really annoying when he look at my family like a joker!!! When his children or his cousin's children got an excellent result, he'll show-off. Humph! I got beat him once when I got 5A in UPSR but now, I lost. Frustrating, honestly. It was the biggest nightmare! One day, when my brother had his result for SPM and my brother didn't get A on it, he show-off with his friend's children! Stupid! Why the hell he proud of his friend's children?! Then, he teas my brother in the Blackberry group.
I was very sad when my brother, cried. He was so ashamed and we all were too. And from that moment I promise to get straight A in PMR for my brother so I could slap MY words to my uncle! But I had fail. I told to my dad that I'm sorry because I didn't successfully fulfilled my own quest. But he told it's okay but there's a little fear and of course, disappointed. I must say I was beginning to phobia with my own uncle. His words are poison to me, to my family.
Now, my dad said I need to forget about him, forget about everyone that I hate, just focus on myself and my future. I have to obey even though I didn't want to think of myself when my parents are unhappy. Besides, people always said we must put some else in front of us so we could move on and I had put 6 people in front of me: My parents and my best friends. Yeah, its too much but I don't care. I love them all, so much.
I am still proud of my friends. They were amazing! God! Thank You, Ya Allah! For giving me such a great and brilliant friends! May Allah SWT bless you guys!
That's all for today. Hope you guys know how much grateful I am, having these awesome friends.
Goodnight!
LadyShadoWish
hey, you guys! I'm back. So what happen today? I got my PMR result and damn it, I got 6A 2B! My parents have successfully convince me that it was a great result for me, they kept saying I had done my best. Well, I know my parent's mind, especially my dad. I know he was a bit disappointing but he was good on hiding his true feeling. My mom, well, let just say she really disappointed but she does not show it, of course. Then, my grandfather brought me a jacket, which I love it so much. But the most good news are my best friend have straight A's!!!! I am so proud of her (Vignesh) and him (Aiman). They are the best and I can't stop smiling for them!
But then, my smiling shatter when I start thinking again. I had lost with my greatest enemy, erm, my niece. Well, it's her that I'm worried about. It's her father! That man is really annoying when he look at my family like a joker!!! When his children or his cousin's children got an excellent result, he'll show-off. Humph! I got beat him once when I got 5A in UPSR but now, I lost. Frustrating, honestly. It was the biggest nightmare! One day, when my brother had his result for SPM and my brother didn't get A on it, he show-off with his friend's children! Stupid! Why the hell he proud of his friend's children?! Then, he teas my brother in the Blackberry group.
I was very sad when my brother, cried. He was so ashamed and we all were too. And from that moment I promise to get straight A in PMR for my brother so I could slap MY words to my uncle! But I had fail. I told to my dad that I'm sorry because I didn't successfully fulfilled my own quest. But he told it's okay but there's a little fear and of course, disappointed. I must say I was beginning to phobia with my own uncle. His words are poison to me, to my family.
Now, my dad said I need to forget about him, forget about everyone that I hate, just focus on myself and my future. I have to obey even though I didn't want to think of myself when my parents are unhappy. Besides, people always said we must put some else in front of us so we could move on and I had put 6 people in front of me: My parents and my best friends. Yeah, its too much but I don't care. I love them all, so much.
I am still proud of my friends. They were amazing! God! Thank You, Ya Allah! For giving me such a great and brilliant friends! May Allah SWT bless you guys!
That's all for today. Hope you guys know how much grateful I am, having these awesome friends.
Goodnight!
LadyShadoWish
Wednesday, 12 December 2012
Dying Here
Assalam.
hey, guys. What's up? I'm sure you guys are enjoying the holiday, the summers and Christmas , right? Well, BTW enjoy! while I'm slowly suffer inside my own house. It's been a month now that I become a 'maid'. i getting used to it now, except the emotional. When all goes mad, I become madness! My brain become chaos! Now, listening to my sister sigh heavily and grumpily makes me want to slap her face!!! I was running around the house like crazy girl. I need a break! but Hell, no! My boss (mother) wouldn't let me.
I'm not saying she is worse mom, okay!? All of my family doesn't understand me. My so-called-elder-brother doesn't act like a big brother at all!! Right now, he's having a fever and more acting like a stupid brother I ever had! While my sister always with her grumpy mood, makes me want to pull my hair out. I have the least problem with my younger brother and my father. They only makes me angry when they keep pushing me around like doll, no, slave!
Honestly, thank god, I'm good on keeping my anger. I don't mind being a slave in my family, I don't mind being a robot that follow people's order, and most importantly, I don't mind being shadow in my family. I will be slave/robot/shadow IF they UNDERSTAND me. I'm not a slave with muscles, I'm not a robot that can work every seconds, minutes and hours, and I'm not always being shadow that always hiding inside the darkness (even though I like the darkness more). Sometimes, even the shadow want to show itself in the light.
Now, my PMR result are around the corner and every member of my family, and niece, uncles and aunties are looking at me. Some are hoping and waiting for me to be victorious, some are hiding their cruel smile and waiting to see my defeated. I'm freaking out too. IF I fail, I would disappointing my family, especially my father. He said it's okay if i fail now but I won't accept if I fail. His brother-in-law (my uncle) would very happy if I fail or have a low grads than her daughter. He think their family is the best. Hah! F#ck off! Now my parents want me to get straight A because they want to show that my family is the best too. It's call using someone, but hey, I'm so sick of that man!
Okay, I think I confess a lot now. I need to keep some of my, secrets insides me. Even the secrets are burning inside me, suffocating me, killing me, I still need it to be myself. People said it's dangerous to keep Secrets for a long time but for me, secrets if like drug. I willing to keep it to myself, even though it harms me. I guess it for today. Gudnight.
LadyShadoWish
hey, guys. What's up? I'm sure you guys are enjoying the holiday, the summers and Christmas , right? Well, BTW enjoy! while I'm slowly suffer inside my own house. It's been a month now that I become a 'maid'. i getting used to it now, except the emotional. When all goes mad, I become madness! My brain become chaos! Now, listening to my sister sigh heavily and grumpily makes me want to slap her face!!! I was running around the house like crazy girl. I need a break! but Hell, no! My boss (mother) wouldn't let me.
I'm not saying she is worse mom, okay!? All of my family doesn't understand me. My so-called-elder-brother doesn't act like a big brother at all!! Right now, he's having a fever and more acting like a stupid brother I ever had! While my sister always with her grumpy mood, makes me want to pull my hair out. I have the least problem with my younger brother and my father. They only makes me angry when they keep pushing me around like doll, no, slave!
Honestly, thank god, I'm good on keeping my anger. I don't mind being a slave in my family, I don't mind being a robot that follow people's order, and most importantly, I don't mind being shadow in my family. I will be slave/robot/shadow IF they UNDERSTAND me. I'm not a slave with muscles, I'm not a robot that can work every seconds, minutes and hours, and I'm not always being shadow that always hiding inside the darkness (even though I like the darkness more). Sometimes, even the shadow want to show itself in the light.
Now, my PMR result are around the corner and every member of my family, and niece, uncles and aunties are looking at me. Some are hoping and waiting for me to be victorious, some are hiding their cruel smile and waiting to see my defeated. I'm freaking out too. IF I fail, I would disappointing my family, especially my father. He said it's okay if i fail now but I won't accept if I fail. His brother-in-law (my uncle) would very happy if I fail or have a low grads than her daughter. He think their family is the best. Hah! F#ck off! Now my parents want me to get straight A because they want to show that my family is the best too. It's call using someone, but hey, I'm so sick of that man!
Okay, I think I confess a lot now. I need to keep some of my, secrets insides me. Even the secrets are burning inside me, suffocating me, killing me, I still need it to be myself. People said it's dangerous to keep Secrets for a long time but for me, secrets if like drug. I willing to keep it to myself, even though it harms me. I guess it for today. Gudnight.
LadyShadoWish
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