Struggle

Assalam,
hey, you guys. I had to say this that I have been sooo much struggle lately. I'm freak out! Hah! On my growing up things, boys, school's test and making decisions. I hate the last one. It really bug me. No, it really scare the hell out of me! I hate it. I'm scare to make my own decisions. I'm scare that I will make the same stupid and wrong decision which it really weak me.
And I hate being weak!!! When I weak, I'll struggle again and again and make another mistake. I want to cry, actually but I, erm, scare too cry too because it weak me too. I need to be brave in everything (especially boys, bah!), like Meredith Sulez and Elena Gilbert (Vampire Diaries novels), Rose Hathaway (Vampire Academy novels), Dru Anderson (Strange Angles novels, even I haven't read or buy the books but I bet it awsome), and Marie Marcus, Selyen Sylvester and Nicole Benson ( in my novel that I create, called Dark Night. I know, you can laugh out loud)
Those girls that actually not real person have their own charecter that I wish I have the same character like them. I know it just some story books but when I read them it feels alive! I feels I want to be like them, strong, smart, beautiful, and mostly brave. Hahaha! I'm being nonsense but I'm talking the truth.Hahaha!
Okay, okay. I need to stop my stupidness.. Good night.

Lady ShadoWish